A "rejection free" app, you never know when people "swipe left" (I do not think your attractive). You only know when people "swipe right" (ohhh heyyyyyy... I find you superficially attractive) if I happen to "swipe right" on them and they with me.... we do this thing called, "Match". It sets up a chat area where one of us has to make the "first move" and actually say something. Via message.
A little background
(or rather, what my Tinder "about me" should read, but doesn't)
Name: Alex
Age: 24
Religion: LDS (so really in Mormon years I'm pushing 40)
Location: Las Vegas
About Me: A High School US History teacher who is obsessed with her job. When I'm not working, lesson planning, grading papers, or just generally worrying about work I have my nose in a book. I secretly enjoy Nicholas Sparks movies. I dream of finding true love, along with dreams of traveling the world, moving back to Oregon, attending the Oscars, and getting a dog. Truly, I have no idea which will actually happen, or what I want to happen more than the others.
What is actually says (or would say if I hadn't deactivated it for the 79th time) Single, Sassy, and Classy. Please don't kill me.
So Tinder. Right? 24 year old single lady who is so obsessed with work that I don't even know how to meet people. This is an app made in heaven! But is it?
The Five problems I have with Tinder.
And the internet in general.
1. Pictures are not real anymore.
I was driving to work the other day and listening to the radio (I am in between books on tape). The two radio hosts were talking about a new app that goes beyond the Instagram filter, and actually can raise cheekbones, whiten teeth, shape eyebrows, eliminate blemishes, gets rid of wrinkles, fills out your lips, walks your dog, buys you groceries... wait... scratch the last two... BUT THE REST! Are you kidding me? I practically yelled at the radio. ARE WE KIDDING US?! And now I'm supposed to subscribe to a "rejection free" dating app based SOLELY on pictures.
2. Tinder Shaming
The idea of Tinder is based on your location right? So you are presented with a plethora of "men" who are within 2-40 miles away from my actual current location. Sounds great right? No worry of long distance, and possible similar interests? Awesome! Also, you end up seeing people on Tinder you actually know in real life. (gasp) If your me, you swipe left (because clearly if we know each other in real life and are not dating, why even bother), if your other people, apparently you let them know you found them on Tinder. Not sure what the point of this is. Its happened to me multiple times. The most horrifying was at work, when another teacher approached me with his phone held out at arms length showing my actual Tinder profile. #Panic. Now, I realize. They are on Tinder too, or else how would they have seen that I was. I see the ridiculousness of my shame. But still. Why point it out? What I hear when people point out to me that I am on Tinder (as if I'm not aware), "you are single and so desperate that you are on tinder! Poor you!" The independent, successful, confident woman that I am becomes the awkward, self-conscious 8th grader again and has no idea what to do.
3. Vegas Tinder is "classy" prostitution for tourists
I don't even think I need to explain this point. The only thing I should probably clarify is why I put "classy" in quotes. Because we are no longer on street corners, swiping on someone is somehow classier than pulling up curbside in our Lamborghini.
4. Are we Tindering in real life?
I was telling someone about this time I was at a party, and how I could almost see people "mentally tindering", "swiping" over people to talk to because they aren't photographically filtered or botoxed. Seriously! I have enough social anxiety as it is, now I'm at a party watching this totally superficial practice of "are they attractive enough for me to talk to?" What happened to casually meeting, talking, laughing, and communciating?! Am I the only one who is more attracted to someone the more they make me laugh? I am clearly a very funny person, and now because I am not filtered or posed right I am getting "swiped" over.
5. I have a genuine actual fear of getting killed
This one actually speaks for itself as well. I actually know people in Vegas who Tinder and do not get killed. I envy their courage and gumption. The one time I met up with someone from Tinder I actually was shaking with fear that he was going to put a cloth over my face and that would be the end. Also, I live alone in a big city. I should fear this. Maybe not to the extent that I do, but until I get a gun, this will be a fear. Even though I ask them in my about me to not kill me, you just cant trust people anymore. I mean, look at #1. Even if I send my friend a picture, who the hell knows if that's what they actually look like.
All in all, I think there are benefits to Tinder. Its why I keep downloading it with hope that there will be the male version of me, totally normal (ha), just looking for a modern, casual date. And there might actually be those people out there. I think in other cities Tinder probably works beautifully. Think about Rexburg, Idaho (99% LDS), I know for a fact people are getting married even more now then they were 3 years ago when I was there. This app would have been awesome when I lived there. The socially awkward, funny, and driven girl could put herself out there without actually leaving my couch and book.
Vegas Tinder? Not for this Single Lady.
At least not today.
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