This might cause some people to think I am high maintance, but I'm really not.... Seriously.

People are always surprised to hear that
I HATE camping.

Here are the reasons I hate it
before you all attack me:
1) I hate being cold. At some point during camping, being cold happens.
2) I hate being uncomfortable when I am sleeping. At some point there is a rock under your sleeping bag that is poking you. Always.
3) I hate smelling like campfire smoke.
4) I hate eating thing that taste like campfire smoke.
5) Whenever you eat, you almost always get dirt in what ever you are eating.
6) A woodpecker wakes you up at THE CRACK OF DAWN (usually around 5).
7) I also hate bugs.
8) I am completely incapable of peeing outside.


At this point in the conversation of why I hate camping, someone always says...

"If you went camping with me, you wouldn't hate it."

Here is what I would say to them, that isn't mentioned in the list above.

I am terrified of the dark.
I am also terrified of wild animals attacking me.
So at some point in the night,
of me not really sleeping,
and you being dead asleep
I am going to wake you up because:
a) I am scared,
b)I have to go the bathroom
c) I am cold.
d) all of the above plus some.

Therefore,
you will never take me camping again.
Because camping really isn't fun for anyone.
I'm not sure why people do it.

My style of camping:
A hotel.
Room service.
Pedicures.
A comfortable bed.
A toilet.
A shower.
A place to brush my teeth.
No wild animals attacking me.
Waking up to a beautiful continental breakfast.


See?
Which would you pick?!