I should inform you that I am now a grown up.
Isn't it funny how you turn 18 and you move out (hopefully) and you feel like you are a grownup and you really feel like you are making decisions and living your life. But then you are on the precipice of turning 25 and all of the sudden you realllllly feel like you still don't have life figured out. I mean.... because we are talking in generics... but some people have life figured out.
Alright fine, I'm talking about myself.
I have a job. Like a career.. one of those things where you get paid without clocking in, and you have sick days and vacation days and co workers. A set lunch, that actually falls around when people should be eating lunch. Theres health insurance benefits and dental and vision. A 401K. Not even really sure what that last one is but I have it! I pay rent, and car insurance, and buy groceries and laundry detergent. I have clothes that I only wear to work.
And yet... I dont have a date to Homecoming.
Let me tell you though. Every single day I feel so at peace with my life. I mean, my love life is non exisistent, but I am also not worried about it. I can only have complete and utter unfathomable hope that someday I will have an existent love life. But right now there is nothing. No date to Homecoming...
I know it sounds like I am having a giant bloggy pitty party... Im really not. Its just the realization that I am... alone. And I need to be ok with it. And most days I am. But sometimes, in the corners of my heart and the closets of my brain I sometimes wish I could call someone and lament about the upcoming Homecoming dance.
But guys... as alone as I feel when I come home... my job is a special kind of amazing.
I wake up at an unearthly inhuman hour and get ready for work. I rise before the sun as the old poets once mentioned. I have the rare and beautiful opportunity to go to a job that I absolutely love. I cannot even put into words the pure and unadulterated joy I feel when I take a step back and watch my students learn and grow. I teach High School and my kids are just beginning to see the world in a new "grown up" way I mentioned before. They really feel like they are starting to see who they want to become. I am constantly and daily surprised by their thoughts, opinions, and lives in general. People overuse the term awesome. They are describing the most menial and complacent moments as awe inspiring. But guys. My job is awesome. In every single sense of the word.
So maybe I don't have a date for homecoming...
But...
I have 200 students that make each day a little bit harder,
a little more frustrating...
but a lot more enjoyable.
